Duece Poppi: Urban As Fuck

As our many loyal readers know, all of the mexysexican contributors are of hispanic/spanish/latino descent (DUH!).  We relate to other ethnic minorities. Most often with the blacks. The following is no exception, us mexicanos love Duece Poppi!

mexyHISTORY: Table Top Joe

Whilst drowning myself in whiskey, reflecting on my life regrets and listening to Tom Waits (typical Wednesday in my sad life)...my curiosity brought me to "The Amazing Half-Boy" aka Table Top Joe. I would like to share his story with the tens of thousands of readers we have here at mexysexicans. And with Halloween fast-approaching it seems a most suitable time for all of you to learn about Mr. Table Top Joe.

 
(Please Note: The following is all cut and pasted from Wikipedia, we steal from the best here at mexysexicans)

Johnny Eck, born John Eckhardt, Jr. (August 27, 1911, Baltimore, Maryland – January 5, 1991, Baltimore, Maryland) was an American freak show performer born with the appearance that he was missing the lower half of his torso. Eck is best known today for his role in Tod Browning's 1932 cult classic film, Freaks. He was often billed as the amazing "Half-Boy" and "King of the Freaks".

Check out the trailer for Freaks:




You get a good shot of Table Top in this clip:



(Side Note: "Freaks" used real people with physical deformities (only ones from the circus) as the freaks which is pretty fuckin crazy cause that shit would not go over well nowadays (fuckin PETA!). Plus the tagline for the movie was "Can A Full Grown Woman Truly Love A Midget?"...a question that is still relevant today. Anyways check that shit out before Halloween and lose your mind.)

Back to TT Joe.

So you would think...fuck this guy must of hated his life...well not at first he didnt...

(Again, stolen from Wikipedia)

Eck remained consistently upbeat about his birth defect. When asked if he wished he had legs, he quipped, "Why would I want those? Then I'd have pants to press." He challenged those who did have legs by asking, "What can you do that I can't do, except tread water?"

A witty one he clearly was.

In fact, Table Top probably did way more shit than most of our lazy asses...

Besides being a sideshow performer and actor, Johnny Eck was also an artist, photographer, illusionist, penny arcade owner, Punch and Judy operator, expert model-maker, race car driver, swimmer, runner, tight rope walker, animal trainer, gymnast, orchestra conductor, train conductor and traveler (I have no idea how he could do half this stuff...but Wikipedia is never wrong).

So your probably thinking..."WOW! this guy is pretty awesome and seemed to make the best of his life! I wish i had his optimism!"...Well you might just want to bit your tongue...

In January 1987, the then 76-year-old Eckhardt brothers (OH YA! he had a twin brother that was totally normal) were robbed in an ordeal that lasted several hours. One of the two thieves mocked and sat on Eck while the other took his belongings. Thereafter, Eck went into seclusion and the brothers no longer invited visitors into their home. Then he had a heart attack and died. Sad...

There's alot more to his life but I couldn't read through his entire Wikipedia page...so longg.

So some of you may be wondering..."how did you come across this intriguing character?"...Well, Tom Waits of course...



I have no idea who made this video and I'm pretty sure if Tom Waits saw this he would burn them with cigarettes in inappropriate places and pour bourbon into their wounds. Or maybe he would like it, I'm not sure I don't know him.

Well thats it folks, thanks for reading. And if any of you shitheads dont think his story is a captivating one well then your stupid as fuck because Leonardo DiCaprio is making Table Top Joe's story into a film. bitches. ahhh yeaaa.

I DO CRACK, BEER, VODKA, GROWER'S COOLERS!! SO?!

Vader Is Going to be Pissed

Are Stormtoopers allowed to masturbate to pictures of hot girls on their facebook?

Creativity

With today's technology its hard not be a prodigy or genius and the site i have for you today will prove that. I know you guys have been hard at work writing novels, plays, musical scores and poetry but you're missing something right? or am i wrong? are you just sitting there? SMOKING YOUR DUBES, DRINKIN YOUR BEER!?! i knew it! anyway here is a crazy website that takes what you write down and puts it into a song...but the words you write are taken from other songs...so example Aha's "take on me" every time you write in 'take' it sings the take part in 'take on me' crazy? retarded? yes...if you have no idea what im talking about just check it out!


THIS IS WHERE YOU NEED TO CLICK RIGHT HERE SERIOUSLY RIGHT FUCKING HERE~!

I know what you're masturbating to

In the game of life only 2 things are certain. Number 1 you will find true love and number 2 before you find true love you will masturbate like crazy. People masturbate to some crazy stuff like: animals, nuns, Barack obama and nuns. All those things dont do a thing for me, also i dont masturbate i just like the internet, Tom Collins loves to masturbate though. So in conclusion if you're still trying to find your masturbating niche and still havent found true love (Cant you love masturbating?...god i dont know) i found a website that might help you!

HERE IT IS JUST CLICK RIGHT HERE AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK!

"Don't forget your shank"

Movie Trailer Mondays

Decisions decisions...Toy Story 3 or Shutter Island...In Toy Story 3 the kid goes to college, i presume that he also must of had sex before he went off to college. Hopefully Toy Story 3 explores how traumatized the toys are when they see their kid nail and pound some drunk ass whore during one of his kegger house parties...Shutter Island does not explore any of what i just mentioned, although it does bury into your mind and doesnt let go until you admit you're clinically insane

ladies and gentlemen this next song is a dance..

this is the first and so far, the only, music video directed by Jack White. Critics regularly say that "..everything Jack touches turns to gold". for example: Loretta Lynn scored her highest ever chart debut with the Jack White produced 'Van Lear Rose' album winning him a Grammy Award.
I believe in this video, he tests this theory. targeting the press and almost making it seem as though he is mocking the industry..
What is going on?
Is this really supposed to mean anything?
I dont think so, and I think that's what I am supposed to think.
What do you think

You Are A Stoner

To be honest i have not gotten ripped in a long long time, but i can't say the same for these people...i used to have the energy to copy and paste pictures and put them on here but then i realized that i am taking the credit away from the other websites that took it from other websites...so instead i'll just send you to the site, which is better organized, nicer, and better sexually oriented then this site...remember this has alot of weed in it so make sure you don't get the chron temptations

CLICK HERE FOR HILARIOUSNESS

Movie Trailer Mondays

ARE THEY CRAZY OR ARE THEY ZOMBIE EDITION!

I dare ask these questions becasue they need to be answered...i don't know who directed this movie but its a remake of George Romeo who is a Mexican..no he is a famous movie director...about time somebody used 'Mad World' in a trailer...oh wait! ITS FUCKIN EVERYWHERE...but to be honest 'Mad World' only fits trailers like these...if 'Mad World' was playing to the new "Shrek" trailer i would be more frightened...anyway enjoy MTM! (Movie trailer mondays)

THE MOVIE IS CALLED "THE CRAZIES"

Mycena Luxaeterna The Glowing Shroom

Cmon, Did mushrooms really have to go and get even more psychedelic?

These were found in Sao Paulo, Brazil.

MexyTV

Fuck Dancing With The Stars. Fuck So You Think You Can Dance. Fuck World's Best Dance Crew. Fuck It. Just Fuck It. Watch this instead (if you aren't already). Californication just started up it's third season. So catch the fuck up yo! Watch right hurr and then tell all your friends so they think your still cool and remain friends with you. 

Check it. Here's a taste. 

That deserves a slow hand clap. Ahh yea.